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Orange juice mayonnaise on MySpace??


**Today, I'd like to welcome Celia Kelly as a guest writer here on Ed The Sports Fan. A CSU-Bakersfield Alum, she is also a featured writer atwww.talkhoops.net and is a rabid fan of basketball. Oh yeah, she a Bulls fan...(crickets.) Anyway, thanks again everyone for commenting on the site and showing love. Stay posted for more posts and news on Ed The Sports Fan. Later. -Ed.**

I'm sure most of you have heard, but just in case you haven't, O.J. Mayo is currently being investigated for accepting something like $30,000 during his senior year of high school and freshman year of college (Ed's perspective on the potential greatness of
"The Juice".)

Early October, I took a trip to USC to attend their Midnight Madness, since my bum-ass school was not having one. Well needless to say, I had a great time. That was my first experience with O.J. I thought he played well, knocked down open shots, nothing spectacular, but obviously above average.


Maybe a few months later during my late night Myspace snooping, I found O.J.'s page. I sent him a friend request (it was private, don't act like you don't do it), and he accepted. I looked through his pictures and snooped through his comments. Most of them were from fans, thanking him for God knows what, because he didn't do anything spectacular.

(I know, I know; I'm off on a little tangent right now, but it will all make sense later.)

Well anyway, I completely forgot I even added him, and a few nights ago, on the eve of this whole scandal, I noticed he posted a bulletin. It was titled PHOTOS. I was curious, so I opened it up. This is what it said: "Hey I have some new pictures. They say new pictures under them. Comment them. LMAO." (The word nigga or niggas was in there somewhere, but I can't remember where.) I was so frustrated by his bulletin, I decided to send him a message back. Look, this dude is going to go top five in the draft. Why does he have time to post bulletins like this? And don't tell me it's fake and somebody else is running that shit, because it's not. That is that nigga's page. Real Talk.


Anyway, I sent him a simple message that said, "Don't you have more important things to do with your time like I don't know… get ready for the draft? Get a life." Well he read it. Then straight up deleted my ass. I was so happy. I thought to myself, damn I just made Orange Juice Mayonnaise delete my ass from his friends list. I mean, this dude has thousands upon thousands of friends, and he took the little 3-4 minutes it took to delete me from his massive list of friends. Bastard.

Like I care. There was only one reason I was upset. I wish the scandal would have broke only 12 hours earlier, because my message would have been so hilarious. Had I known he was accepting money from Bill Duffy ahead of time, my message would have been something like this:

Orange Juice Mayonnaise,
First let me address this bum-ass bulletin. What are you doing? You know the draft is coming soon, right? You shouldn't be so sure you are going top five; I saw you play this season, and all these bum lottery teams are looking for some stars right now. I'm sorry, but you just don't fit the build. You should really be working on that wow factor you are missing, doing interviews, or getting some kind of marketing team together. You'll never be able to live up to your full potential if you don't gain some kind of swag between now and draft day. Shoe deal? Please. Speaking of draft day, if you wear some nigga-ass suit to draft day, I will dedicate my life to pointing out every single mistake you make next season. And don't forget I'm a writer; people read my shit.

Next, what the fuck were you thinking? I know you don't give a damn about USC; otherwise, you would have done a better job of getting us out of the first round of the tournament, but damn. They are already getting two scholarships yanked for having a low graduation rate, and now this. A great recruit has changed his mind and is seriously thinking about leaving and signing somewhere else due to your selfish ass acts. Why couldn't you just be the broke-ass basketball player the rest of your teammates were instead of accepting $30,000 worth of meals, gifts, clothes, flat-screens and shit.

Then you had the nerve to tell ESPN you were broke?! Broke? Did you mean your jumper? You had a fucking plasma TV in your dorm room. Then you told ESPN you rode a bike around campus. Fuck. Everybody rides a bike on that campus. There's a grip of students going to the University of Spoiled Children riding around thousand dollar Schwinns (sp) with the banana seats in that bitch. You riding a bike has no weight with me. Also, you said you were entering the draft, so you could take care of your family. So there's no way you guys are ballin', right? So when your personal friend Carmelo "DUI" Anthony gave you those $3,000 a piece courtside Lakers tickets and you made a "charitable contribution" to USC, where the fuck did you get that money, huh? Where did it come from Orange Juice? Oh I know, Rodney the 43-year-old club promoter, who all of the sudden became your best friend the minute he knew you were going to be a cash cow.


I don't like you. I never have and never will. And I don't take what you do personally until you start messing with my team. I already told you your fate if you end up getting drafted to the Bulls (see the blog, Dear O.J. Mayo for further reference.) But I'll tell you what: you ruin my favorite college team with your antics, and I'll be on your helmet.

Love,
Celia

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