Putting out an APB for assistance in the Eagles Wide Receiver corps. Be on the lookout for the following...
Kevin Curtis - A perennial slot receiver overachieving as a NUMBER ONE receiver for the Eagles. Currently on IR.
Reggie Brown - Should be a #4 wide receiver masquerading as a #2 receiver for the Eagles. Currently on IR.
Desean Jackson - Should be the perfect slot receiver for the Eagles. However shows lack of focus on taking football with him into the endzone. 6 catches, 110 Yards
Jason Avant - Previous arrests include wearing Terrell Owens #81 Eagles jersey and thinking he was actually Terrell Owens. 2 catches, 28 yards
Greg Lewis - Simply doesn't like to have the football touch his hands. Please consider armed and dangerous with brick hands as he only catches footballs when rifled into his facemask. 3 catches, 36 yards.
Please be advised that Brian Westbrook has been ordained by the City of Philadelphia with a lifetime pass for no arrest. He can piss on little kids in public, he can tip cows, he can get into a car accident with a funeral lineup with no insurance while being under the influence of alcohol, marijuana, ecstasy, and shrooms while a stripper is "servicing" him and cannot be arrested under any circumstances. 18 carries, 58 rushing yards, 2 rushing TDs. 6 catches, 44 receiving yards, 1 receiving TD.
This is a public service announcement by Ed The Sports Fan, if you have any leads please report them to firstname.lastname@example.org, thanks.