This is Joey Porter, LB/DE for the 4-4 Miami Dolphins. Dude is off the chain. And by off the chain I mean, he's more rambunctious than two 3rd graders fighting over the last push pop. Look at all of the things that are factual about the man as we speak:
He leads the NFL with 11.5 sacks thru 8 games this season. Check.
He has taken over the leadership role for Miami that was once filled by Pro-Bowler Zach Thomas. Check.
One of the league's most stupendous trash talkers of all-time. Check.
This leads me to believe two things about the man. #1. He gives no flying f*ck who you are, he will probably try and talk trash to you to win the game. Even his own mama probably. #2. Almost everyone in the NFL probably hates him, yet wants him on their team.
On Tuesday, WR Brandon Marshall of the Denver Broncos, who's team just lost to Miami last week 26-17, spit poetical justice about the linebacker, saying..."Yeah, Joey Porter's one of them guys, when you got guys who talk a lot of trash, just want to talk about people or put people down, they have their own insecurities, and his insecurities I don't know. But he's definitely one of those guys who all those muscles are popcorn muscles. He's soft."
People think Joey Porter has popcorn muscles, and he's soft. Check.
"He's one of those soft receivers, where he has to have the ball all the time. If he don't get it, he's going to mope and cry. He did it to himself," Porter suggested.
But Marshall wasn't done. He essentially went out of his way to say that Porter was full of "Bitchassness" and we quote...""You know, we hear stories floating around the league all the time about him as far [as being] in nightclubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl or in the playground getting beat up back in California, he's one of those guys that no matter how big he is, he can still get knocked on his butt and he's soft. He's soft at heart and you can tell by the way he talks."
"And his nickname is 'Peezy.' I don't know what 'Peezy' is," Marshall added, then paused and leaned forward to deliver the punctuation: "Joey!"
By the way, Brandon Marshall just earned the #2 ranking in ETSF's latest talk sh*t poll. Here's my top 5.
#1. Joey Porter
#2. Brandon Marshall
#3. Chad Johnson
#4. Ray Lewis
#5. Antonio Pierce
Porter followed up on his 'popcorn muscles' comment with..."Nope. I know Orville Redenbacher. I know popcorn, but I'm not worried about that. That game is over. I'm looking at Seattle. For him to still be on that, I did get in his head, obviously. He's wasting time. They have a game tomorrow. I'm worried about me. I left Denver three days ago."
But we're not done with Joey. He's also against the crack cocaine.
"He got caught with cocaine and Matt Jones is still playing football. How does he get away with that? And then you fine people $20,000 for making comments to the media about the refs. The guy got caught with cocaine."
Talking about Matt Jones, WR of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Don't do CRACK!
Life lessons are great, easy.