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Unsportsmanlike Conduct - 12 Men On The Field...


Yes, Billy Sims finally shut the f*ck up...

12 Men On The Field - In a new segment, once a week I will bring you 12 biggest names over the weekend so that you can be thoroughly entertained like when Jason Witten saw T.O. come to Valley Ranch wearing his #82 Witten jersey. Oh boy...Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

1. Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford – You know they say that controversy sells, and it seems that OU is bleeding the block with it. First the Big 12 Championship, now the Heisman. Bradford is the 2nd Oklahoma QB to win the award, and the 5th Heisman winner in Sooners history. Maybe, Oklahoma can win the National Championship with some controversy as well. I'd probably take it.

2. Former Heisman Winner, RB Billy Sims – Fam, I am one of the biggest Oklahoma fans out there and I enjoy the chanting of Boomer! Sooner! But shut the hell up! When you yell out "Boomer!" roughly 55 times before my man even responds with one "Sooner!" then that's a hint. You almost stole the spotlight from my man Slingin Sammy. Do us all a favor and go drink a tall glass of shut the hell up and see me in the morning.

3. Heavyweight Champion Wladimir Klitschko - Klitschko provided further evidence why he's considered the world's premier heavyweight Saturday, as he retained his IBF, WBO and IBO belts with a textbook display of boxing, breaking down and halting former linear champ Hasim Rahman in the seventh round at the SAP Arena in Mannheim, Germany. Can someone please get Rocky Balboa or Apollo Creed out of retirement? Clubber Lang? (Wouldn't Clubber Lang destroy Drago?)"You Cut Him! You Hurt Him! You See!!! He's not a machine! HE'S A MAN!!!"

4. ETSF Player of the Week, Carmelo Anthony- Dude put up 33 in a quarter, simply ridiculous. Carmelo this week: 36ppg, 10rpg, 4.5apg, 3.0spg, 57% FG%.

5. Dallas Cowboys TE Jason Witten – I would have paid money to see the look on Witten's face when T.O. walked in with his jersey on. Then to hear "Eldorado" say, "Maybe I'll catch the ball more with Witten #82 on instead of #81..." that's hilarious. Maybe he should try to talk to Romo's girlfriend's sister, Ashley Simpson...


"Yeah...I smell like money huh? Plus that double cheeseburger I smashed too huh..." - CC Sabathia

6. NY Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia - Isn't there a recession going on in America? My main man CC "I definitely could start at left tackle for the NY Giants" Sabathia just signed a new deal with the New York Yankees for seven years and $161 million -- at $23 million a season. Okay, I know some of you are not baseball savants, but let me break this down for you another way. There are 162 games played in baseball over about 8 months. This man will actually do his job about 30 times this season. That's it! This means for every start he makes, he makes $766K. $2.88M a month. Over a course of the year, he makes $63K A DAY!!! Let me just say this, $63K hovers near my salary and that doesn't make me feel good about my life. (Going to teach my future kids how to throw a curveball, shoot from three, and how to read a Cover-2 defense...) Get your money CC, I ain't mad at you fam.

7. Tyler Hansbrough – Maybe I'm just a hater, I dunno. Dude is nice, but I watch some of his games and can you really fathom him putting in major work in the NBA? I once compared him against David West, but West was much more fluid offensively. "Psycho T" has been working on that outside shot, but I believe he might be more David Lee vs. David West.

8. Suspended NHLer Sean Avery - If you don't remember the story I did on him before then read this article I wrote to catch up. This is why hockey is failing miserably in the USA. You're telling me that you don't want a great player on your team because he told the public that he thought it was weird other NHL players were dating his "sloppy seconds"? WTF? That is the greatest thing that's happened to the NHL in years. Start a TV show about the shenanigans of the NHL. More fights and more sharing of "da hoes" please? Thanks.


9. Steelers WR Santonio Holmes - Bruh, you know you didn't catch that football in the endzone. Baltimore got hosed.

10. Self-inflicted gunshot victim Plaxico Burress - This message is for the New York Giants...No one fears you anymore, go get Burress' hole plugged up in his leg and get him back on the field. No one fears your offense anymore, and corners are pressing your wide receivers. Thus, more pressure on the QB. Your not going to succeed in the playoffs otherwise. Don't say I didn't warn you...

11. Soon to be former President George Bush – Yesterday, as President Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki shook hands during a press conference in Iraq, an Iraqi journalist got up and threw not 1, but 2 shoes at Bush (courtesy: gossiponthis.com. Unfortunately, he wasn’t hit. Damn his reflexes and damn that journalist’s aim! In all seriousness though, thank God it wasn't something else besides shoes.

12. Unsportsmanlike Conduct, Fighting in Disney, 15-yard penalty...The Dorchester Eagles & Edgewood Eagles – Two pop warner football teams are facing disciplinary action for getting kicked out of a Disney World resort. Their infraction? Fighting in the cafeteria. Both teams were in Florida for the Pop Warner Super Bowl.

The Dorchester Eagles, ages 11 to 15, and the Edgewood Eagles of Rhode Island were booted from their Disney World hotel on Thursday after multiple members of the two teams got into a physical fight in the hotel cafeteria, said Pop Warner spokesman Jason Howarth. As a result, the Dorchester Eagles’ future with Pop Warner may be in jeopardy, he said. [Edgewood Eagles President George] Lindell said the Thursday incident was a continuation of an incident Wednesday at Hollywood Studios, formerly MGM studios, which Disney opened up to all Pop Warner teams and guests for free food, ice cream and rides. Nothing brings debauchery to a town like a Super Bowl. It also turns out that the NFL helped fund the Dorchester team's trip to Florida by giving them a share of $4,000 to help with the costs. Goodell's gonna love this story.

Word on the street is that Jerry Jones has offered them all future contracts.


WTF

-Ed.

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