With 8 years in the game, I can safely say that being married this long, while a wonderful accomplishment, is hardly a cake walk. You've gotta worry about someone other than yourself all the time. You have to compromise. You have to sacrifice. You have to swallow your words. When you get right down to it, all most husbands are left with is The Big Piece Of Chicken and (maybe) the remote control. And that's the truth, Ruth.
Again, I'm not complaining (I sure hope it doesn't sound like I am), cause I really, really enjoy being married. Having a wife who looks like mine helps. But I am always telling single guys to tread lightly before they walk down the aisle. Marriage is a permanent decision (think about it) with permanent repercussions (think about it) if you eff' it up and decide you want out. If you aren't 100% sure you're ready for the commitment then you probably aren't, and you probably shouldn't ask anyone to marry you.
That said, I don't know whether NBA player Richard Jefferson qualifies as a stand up guy, or a spineless douchebag.
It was supposed to be the best day of their lives.
Former New Jersey Nets star Richard Jefferson and onetime Nets dancer Kesha Ni'Cole Nichols were set to tie the knot at the Mandarin Oriental last Saturday, NYPost.com reports.
But in an unexpected turn of events, Jefferson bailed the night before their wedding.
The cold-footed fiancé ditched his stunning bride-to-be at such late notice that some guests had already shown up to the extravagant $2 million event that never took place.
Jefferson — who was traded to the San Antonio Spurs in June — dumped Nichols just before the weekend, according to sources.
Although Nichols, 29, immediately called her family and friends to alert them of the ill-timed news, the basketball pro waited much longer.
"He called about two hours before the wedding. It was nuts," said one Jefferson pal.
Although Jefferson never showed up to the hotel, he made sure to give his best friend his Black Amex credit card, with which the guests made good use of during the night.
A jilted Nichols, who was "not entirely caught off-guard," checked into the hotel and was upgraded to a suite on the 45th floor overlooking Central Park on what would have been her wedding night, according to a source at the hotel.
"She just wants to keep this as quiet as possible and move on," a Nichols family insider told FoxSports. "She's doing just fine."
Jefferson also denied reports that he spent $2 million on the wedding, telling Stern he spent about a quarter of that.
Jefferson also denied to the Post rumors that he is gay.
"I'm not gay," Jefferson said. "That couldn't be any further from the truth. I have nothing to hide."
I guess you could read this two ways. Leaving your girlfriend of 5 years at the altar, after having informed her via email that it wasn't gonna work out, then flying to Paris to celebrate your freedom is a real bum move. Seriously, couldn't the guy have at least called her and said the same thing? That's pretty crummy, RJ.
On the flipside, he clearly wasn't ready to be married, and despite how weaselly his method of informing the young lady was, at least he did it now. What's worse for the girl? Getting married and finding out this guy's still got groupies in every NBA city 6 months from now, or saving yourself the humiliation and attorney fees when it inevitably fails? I say it's better to pay for your mistakes now than later. It sure as hell is gonna save Jefferson lots of money longterm. Nichols? Uhhh, not so much.
It should be also noted that Jefferson has since agreed to give Nichols a "six figure settlement" for her inconvenience, and still considers her a friend. But it does raise a good question to pose to ya'll.
Question: What Would You Do? If you're not ready to be married, should you still go through with the wedding anyway? Is it ever right to jilt someone? Aside from the fact that Jefferson informed his bride via email, is he a stand up guy for not going through with a marriage if he wasn't ready?