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Football Players Who Do Dumb $#!t

**Quick note: Thanks for the motivation to write this, Celia. Keep doin’ your thing, and make sure not to forget about the little people at ETSF, once you make it to Bristol. We want to be the first ones you give your exclusive interview to!**

If there’s one thing I cannot stand, it’s someone who just engages in stupidity. I mean, maybe they think their shit don’t stink, or maybe they just enjoy always being in the mix. Either way it goes, it gets on my nerves. With that being said, my tolerance for athletes who get in trouble is even thinner. They are earning millions of dollars, have the means to support their families, and are doing something they love; yet, they continue to get in situations they cannot get out of. What makes it worse is a majority of them look like me, and if you do not know what I, or Ed, look like, feel free to click here (the light-skinned cat with the Iron Sheik rag on his head is Ed, and the man in the video is me).

For the sole reason of wanting to keep this in blog-form and not to turn it into a dissertation, I will only speak about some of the football players who find themselves in trouble. I am actually a fan of a majority of them on the field, but off-the-field is an entirely different story, and their collective foolishness and overall stupidity has finally driven me to my wits end.

Plaxico Burress – The fact he was carrying a gun he didn’t have a license for, and shooting himself was beyond stupid. Of course, he didn’t mean to shoot himself, but he did it. Two years in prison may be excessive, but this crime was so ridiculous and so incredibly asinine, that I don’t have the energy to print up “Free Plax” shirts, or anything like that. On top of that, the man turned down a plea to do three months in jail, because he did not want to go to jail at all. I understand not wanting to go at all, but he had no juice, no leverage, and no say-so in this situation. I cannot describe any further how much his behavior baffles me. Simply put, it’s just hard for me to have any sympathy for this dummy.

Michael Vick – we are all familiar with what Vick did, so there’s no need in resurrecting it. The one angle that rarely gets discussed is the role of his boys in all this. Once everything hit the fan, his own boys were the ones who dropped a dime on him. If you’re going to be doing stuff that could potentially get yourself in trouble, then you should know who you’re dealing with.

Donte Stallworth – by all accounts, Stallworth seems like a cool dude. He certainly did something numerous people have been guilty of (driving while high and on that drank), but once he hit a man with his car, and the man died, it changed everything. Hindsight may be 20-20 in this case, but now he won’t be able to earn a living for the 2009 NFL season, and it all could have been avoided.

Adam Jones – some of the stuff he’s been arrested for seems ridiculous, but once again; when you’re a lightning rod for trouble, this can easily happen. He may not have even been looking for trouble, but just being in the elements of trouble is enough, especially when you’ve been in enough crap over the years. He was suspended for the entire 2007 season, and when he was brought back, he was never the same, while STILL getting his name caught up in foolishness. At 25 years old, he should be in someone’s camp, and getting ready for the season. Instead, it’s a strong possibility his NFL playing days are indeed over.

Be easy.

-K. Masenda

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