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Today's Obituaries - R.I.P. To DJ Mbenga


Didier Ilunga-Mbenga, commonly referred to as DJ Mbenga, 28, passed away on November 24th, 2009 after being in critical condition from an array of facial injuries. He was born in Kinshasa, Zaire on December 30th, 1980. DJ is a Belgian professional basketball player who's currently plays for the Los Angeles Lakers. He also plays for the Belgium national basketball team. DJ Mbenga is commonly seen as the last guy on the Lakers bench and generally gets some minutes in garbage time or when they need someone to foul, real real hard.

Last week, Mbenga underwent severe facial trauma as the repetitive posterization that has occurred to him over the course of his career has taken its toll on the young center.


Just in 2009, DJ was been caught in the crossfire by two rookies in the NBA. Sources say during an exhibition against the Los Angeles Clippers, one of the crowned members of the Light-Skinned Coalition pantheon, Mr. Blake Griffin, delivered what's called the "Drop-Step Tornado" on Mbenga. No one really knew what it was at the time, but the embarrassment and sheer unadulterated power exhibited from Griffin made Mbenga's case all the more concerning.


Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse as what some fans could only describe as "Mighty Mouse YUUUUUUUUUUULE'n on Goliath" in Denver. Nuggets' rookie PG Ty Lawson decided that he'd like to climb that tall tree, and delivered what's known in Chapel Hill as the "Tar Heel Call Ya Mama Throwdown" upon Mr. Mbenga. Its believed that DJ's wife was in the stands and quickly departed the building much in the same capacity that Miguel Cotto's wife left the building as their husbands received unwarranted punishment and abuse.

Both rookies have been detained and been asked to seek counseling from the Harold Miner School of "Not Disrespecting 9-year Veterans When You Are A Rookie" program. Although the bastardization by the rookies on Mbenga has forced his career to be "put down" he has a previous history with post-posterization depression. Please review a previous study on the affects that one Vince Carter and one Rudy Gay had on Mbenga in previous years.

There has also been a foundation setup by Dikembe Mutombo for the prevention of posterization of African big men. Please send all donations there. Thanks.

IS DJ MBENGA THE NEW SHAWN BRADLEY OF OUR GENERATION? IS THERE ANY DUNKS I MISSED? IF I DON'T GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU TOMORROW, LET ME BE ONE OF THE FIRST TO SAY HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! BE SAFE!

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

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