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Move Over Einstein, Jordan Is The Smartest Man That Ever Lived

There are some things in life I’m convinced I’ll never understand. When it comes to some of those, I’m perfectly fine if I never get them. However, there is one thing that bothers the hell out of me. It’s something I’ve never been able to put a finger on, which is why this post is being written. With all due respect to Albert Einstein, and any other people who are considered brilliant, I’m going to make a declaration right now, and say Michael Jeffery Jordan is the smartest man who ever lived.

I mean, who else can find a way to make grown men, grown-ass men, salivate over the thought of Jordans? My bad; folks around me call 'em “Js.” Now I won’t act like there wasn’t a time when I wasn’t into Js, because I was, but that was way back when. Now that I’ve grown up, my fascination with Js has pretty much gone to hell. Obviously the same can’t be said for some of my contemporaries, who still flock to the stores to pick up the newest joints. However, it seems like the older I get, the more it’s gotten out of hand.

The recent joints that came out are the ones Jordan rocked in Space Jam, which baffles me, because Space Jam came out in the mid-90’s. It’s not like these are the newest edition of Jordans; these joints haven’t been seen in ages, yet cats have gone to Finish Line, Footaction, Footlocker, and any other store in sight; camped out all night, roasted marshmallows, played Spades, Dominoes, whatever it took to stay up, and not lose their spot in line, and all in the name of getting Space Jam Js.

The other thing that doesn’t make sense is that some cats buy them, and have no intention of playing ball in them; none whatsoever. Now I’m not one to tell a grown man how to spend their money, but how many people buy Ferragamos, and don’t wear them with a suit? Yet, cats will spend $150 or however much the Js are these days, and will not hoop in them. Sorry, but buying basketball shoes and not hoopin’ in them is ass-backwards to me. On second thought, maybe I'm just getting old.

Michael Jordan doesn’t need to play ball to remain the most powerful basketball force, this side of Kobe or The River LeBron. Nobody is rushing to stores to get the new Kobes, or the new LeBrons, or the old ones for that matter. However, as long as Jordan wants to keep putting shoes out, cats will flock to them like bees to honey, like a man to a fine woman in the club, and like a hungry man to a huge piece of steak. However, with those other three, it's easy to figure out. As it goes for grown men and Js, it’s something that I may never understand.
Be easy.

-K. Masenda


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