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Unsportsmanlike Conduct: March Madness Edition

Unsportsmanlike Conduct is an ongoing series in which Ed The Sports Fan brings you the important events, haps, people, and other shenanigans over the past weekend so that you can be thoroughly entertained like when my dentist and resident commenter JAG decided to purchase our scalped tickets outside of Conseco Field House in Indy from a 335-pound swarthy gentleman wearing a "to the knees" Alpaca (YOU BLOT THAT) jacket with a Mary Poppins umbrella and eating a blow pop. (More on this later)

Besides...its March Madness. I don't do Unsportsmanlike Conduct posts that often, but you know I had to bring it back! LETS GO!

#1. March Madness Is Finally Here - Just last night, the NCAA released its bracket to determine who will be the 2010 NCAA Men's Basketball champions. Truly a great day in the land of the sports world. Regardless of how you feel about the selection process, the potential expansion to 96, or why in the hell there is a play-in game, (There isn't one in the women's game, so i'm confused) just understand that like my boy Kenny says..."This is a national holiday, and all of those who enjoy college basketball should rejoice in the beautifulness of this thang we call March Madness."

Agreed my brother, agreed.

Also if you haven't already, sign up for the 3rd Annual ETSF March Madness Bracket Buster Challenge today!

#2. In Other College Basketball News... - WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE ETSF MARCH MADNESS NIT CHALLENGE? North Carolina! UConn! Who's excited about this!?! No one? None of you...wow, ok. Moving on...

#3. The NFL Held Its Own Selection Sunday - LaDainian Tomlinson to the Jets? Really? Why? Wait...let me rephrase this...why in the hell would the Jets release Thomas Jones (The AFC's leading rusher over the last two years) to then sign L.T. all while having Shonn Greene and Leon Washington? I'm highly confused by this, however this is a major win for Tomlinson, as he will now get a chance to run behind one of the top 2 offensive lines in football. L.T. "could" parlay this into 2-3 more seasons of part-time football.

Oh yeah, shoutout to Mike Holmgren for officially blowing up the quarterback position in Cleveland. Releasing Derek Anderson, trading Brady Quinn to the Broncos for an H-Back and a 6th round pick, and then signing Jake Delhomme to be a fill-in for the team as they try and trade for a real QB in Jimmy Claussen and Sam Bradford. They are paying Delhomme WAY TOO MUCH money, however...Mike Holmgren has done way more in 2 weeks than Mangini did in 2 years. Great job.

#4. Manny Pacquiao Beats a Vending Machine on Saturday - I had an interesting debate with some folks during the Pacquiao vs. Clottey PPV fight on Saturday, from watching a defensive-minded Clottey (who was doing the John Wall dance to the ring, dude was live!) turn into a shell against Manny, but also in regards to why Pacman is so good. They brought up a couple of points, "Pacquiao grew up from nothing, and he's so well trained that he can take anything" and "He just works harder than any fighter ever" and "He's become uniquely skilled overall, he's a trained killer". Ok...

I can agree with ONE of those points, over the last 5-7 years Freddie Roach has done a miraculous job with Pacquiao. Manny used to be a one-handed puncher with no head movement, now? Manny uses both hands effectively and moves like a mosquito on the quest for blood. However, if you watched the fight and noticed some of the statistical breakouts of what Pacman's doing...its an eye-opener. The welterweight average for punches in a round is 56. Pacuqiao AVERAGES 90/round. In the Clottey fight, he AVERAGED 120/round. Moreover, when a fighter moves up in weight, they usually throw less punches. Couple that with the fact that when a fighter rises in age, they throw less punches. Notice a trend here? Pacquiao at 122 pounds threw 47 punches/round. Now at 147 pounds, he throws 68 punches/round. WTF. The dude is 32 years old and been in some major brawls, yet looks better than ever.

So when Floyd Mayweather says that he should be subjected to Olympic-style testing, I think its a smart ploy and its something that we need to know. I wouldn't call Floyd being scared, I'd call it being realistic about what a fighter should be capable of. Pacquiao's defying everything that a boxer should be able to do. Just my 2 cents.

#5. Winning Time, Reggie vs. The Knicks - When I heard about this I almost went on myself, I have been a fan of Reggie Miller since age 8. He's by far my favorite player of my childhood alongside Shawn Kemp, and this documentary relived all my past memories. Special contributor to ETSF Phillip Barnett will be recapping the 30 for 30 documentary, "Winning Time" for us tomorrow. Here is a snippet:

Both Ed and Kenny have heard me rag on and complain about Reggie Miller calling Lakers games on TNT (or any game on TNT for that matter) because I just find it extremely hard to tolerate his voice and gimmicky antics, but it was hard not to like Reggie Miller the player. Klores did a great job of profiling one of the most entertaining NBA players of my lifetime. Klores’ Winning Time put on a show in the same way Reggie was able to do when he was at his best.

Be sure to check out Phil's post tomorrow for more into the 30 for 30 documentary, "Winning Time."

#6. 5 Teams That No One Will Pick, But Can Go To The Final Four - Baylor, Maryland, Washington, Xavier, Louisville

#7. Shocking The World All Across The Country - Word is out that Kenny & B-Lew went out and "Shocked The World" at the Texas HS Men's Basketball Playoffs this weekend, looking forward to hearing how Jack Yates did in out there. While JAG and myself went out to Indianapolis for the Big 10 tournament semifinals. Definitely a good time had by all, and who knew you could buy great seats from someone who looks like a 2nd-string offensive lineman wearing an Alpaca jacket? Remember folks, "Shocking The World" needs to happen by all of you. If you have photos or video from you attending live sporting events then feel free to email them to us and we'll post them on here.

#8. Flag Football At Its Finest - Shoutout to my flag football team, The One Hitta Quittas, for putting up a valiant effort in our first season in the Cincy Flag Football League. We finished 3-4 and just missed making the playoffs. Let me tell you all something, it is one thing to continually sit here and be a pundit of sports...its another to be a grown @$$ man and go out there and try and relive the glory days. We got cats literally putting they blood, sweat, and tears out there on the field. Shoutout to Akiva, Joubie, Chuck, Eric, Doc, Ameen, Greg, Jeremy, Jermil, Ken, Horace, Shawn, and yours truly for a fun season. LETS DO IT AGAIN FELLAS!

#9. Unsportsmanlike Conduct: WTF Is Going On In Eugene? - When did Oregon become the home of the hood? I don't understand what's going on in Nikeland that the football team has decided to turn bonkers. Chip Kelly has been on the job for precisely 365 days and the man has endured the following list (source: OregonLive.com) of players deciding to live life like the numbers "5 to 10" don't mean anything:

Kiko Alonso, Linebacker (Sophomore)
Offense: DUI, minor in possession, other traffic offenses. Picked up on Feb. 20 after driving erratically.
Result: Suspended for the 2010 season.

Rob Beard, Kicker (Sophomore)
Offense: Charged with assault after altercation with woman led to brawl that left him unconscious and in intensive care. DA said he got a “knuckle sandwich." Pleaded guilty to physical harassment.
Result: Suspended from 2010 season opener against New Mexico.

Mike Bowlin, Kicker (Freshman)
Offense: Involved in fight on Jan. 23 with Beard, also beaten but not as severely.
Legal: No charges as of yet. The DA has been busy with other things.
Result: Left team on Feb. 16.

Garrett Embry, Wide Receiver (Junior)
Offense: Stole computers and other electronics from SAE fraternity house on Jan. 23, caught from behind by fraternity member. Pleaded guilty on March 12 to second-degree burglary, a felony to be treated as a misdemeanor.
Result: Dismissed from team. Kelly said he was gone on Jan. 8.

Jamere Holland, Wide Receiver (Senior)
Offense: Vulgar, disparaging post on Facebook page concerning Kelly’s discipline of Alonso. Opined, “How the (expletive) you kick Kiko off the team."
Result: Dismissed on Feb. 22, continued electronic diatribe.

LaMichael James, Running Back (Sophomore)
Offense: Fight with (ex)-girlfriend. Pleaded guilty to physical harassment on March 12 after assault and strangulation charges were dropped.
Result: Suspended from season opener against New Mexico.

Josh Kaddu, Linebacker (Junior)
Offense: Minor in possession, trying to break into an SUV, while drunk, that wasn't his. Vehicle owner did not press charges.
Result: None.

Jeremiah Masoli, Quarterback (Senior)
Offense: Stole computers and other electronics from SAE fraternity house on Jan. 23. Pleaded guilty on March 12 to second-degree burglary, a felony to be treated as a misdemeanor.
Result: Suspended for entire 2010 season.

Matt Simms, Defensive End (Junior)
Offense: Charged with assault, later reduced to harassment for fight in retaliation for Beard brawl on Jan. 23. Pleaded guilty on March 2.
Result: Dismissed on Feb. 3.

…and last but not least…

LeGarrette Blount, Running Back (out of school)
Offense: Punched Boise State’s Byron Hout in season opener on Sept. 3, took a shot at Embry and accosted fans at Bronco Stadium.
Result: Suspended for entire season, only to be allowed back on the team after missing eight games.

Look at some of those names on here! Masoli, LaMichael James, Blount, Jamere Holland, Alonso! These were their BEST players, not the scrubs...doing dumb ish like stealing computers? WTF. The only one that's excusable in my opinion is LeGarrette Blount because dude thought it was okay to pull shenanigans on national television and didn't think he couldn't get dealt with. Masoli's literally done, James got off easy, and the rest of these fellas are now in "wait-and-see" mode. They have the greatest athletic department in college football history, and are basically the test subjects for the gurus of football styling at Nike. They wear a different uniform on the field for every game, and you effing it all up. They should make these boys wear Uggs for a year. Birkenstocks. No...I got it.

Make all of the Oregon players wear Crocs. In practice, running wind sprints, going to class, with their dates, all day every day. Trust me, they will then appreciate the greatness of playing for Oregon. They should be ashamed of themselves.




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