I really couldn't say what I wanted to say in the title, so let me restate it now, so everyone can clearly understand how I feel.
Please, for the love of God, stop doing the Dougie in the endzone, as you make me feel like I'm watching 106 and Park and your lack of creativity is killing my brain cells slowly. Give respect to the great Dougie Fresh, then give the proper respect to the folks in Texas. This did not start in California, and this dance is running rampant, even in the NFL.
Whew. Now I feel so much better.
Look, we've seen countless hours of football games and we've been rewarded to some of the greatest impromptu celebrations in the endzone ever. However, I understand that not all of our football brethren are as original as a Chad Ochocinco. So here are a few suggestions that I believe would be considered legal, even for the Dallas Cowboys.
The Southside - The dance brought to us from the great folks of Houston, Texas is about as classic of a dance move there is. It's simple, it's recognizable, and EVERYONE can do it. There's no greater feeling than hitting the Southside from side-to-side in any environment. Heck, a couple of weeks ago, one of the old ladies in my church hit The Southside. Much respect to Texas legend Lil' Keke for the track and making the dance famous. Feel free to dance in your bedroom, office, library, or wherever you may be reading this.
Hulk Hogan Flex Moves - Look, there aren't too many things that can consistently bring a smile to a man's face. Hulk Hogan going crazy in the ring ripping his shirt and hitting the Mr. Olympia flex moves is no exception. Next time Antonio Gates gets into the endzone, he needs to the point flex, the downward curl flex, and the arms curled up flex in succession (combo-breaker) and finishing with the shirt rip. This needs to happen.
Break Dancing - Look, I'll be honest. I don't even know if it would be humanly possible to break dance with cleats on, maybe some pop-locking could happen. However, I imagine that our boy Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson could figure out a way to dance with the football or the pylon or something that would be live as hell like our boy Turbo did with the broom...
The Carlton - Simply put, its the corniest, silliest, most egregious, yet livest dance known to man. All hail Alfonso Ribeiro for giving up the rest of life to be known as a credible actor and now only be known as "Carlton Banks." Hell, half of us had never even heard of Tom Jones until Carlton introduced America to the man. The funniest thing is...all of you can do it. Am I lying? Let someone do this in the endzone, its going down.
Fraternity Party Steps - Now, if you've been paying attention to ETSF long enough, you might have figured out that Ken and I are members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc., also known as the greatest fraternity of all-time. In life, there isn't an activity as unparalleled as having the opportunity to party walk, strut, or stroll (women and Kappas stroll, real men party walk or strut) in a party setting. Its live. I remember the big homie Shaq just going nuts one time after a dunk and threw the hooks up and started hopping. Hell, about half the league is Ques! Y'all throw the hooks up all the time, go on ahead and hop on these boys! Same for the Nupes, go out there and shimmy in the endzone one time! Man, let me tell you, if I saw one of the bruhs, like Donald Driver for example, hit the Train in the endzone? I might lose it. Football players got brands, tattoos, and all this other stuff...man hold it high and hit that party walk in the endzone.
Anyway, stop doing the damn dougie and get creative. I know I left off plenty other potential dances and moves, what else should these NFL players do when they get in the endzone? Let us know your thoughts!
P.S. As a reminder, checkout the livest sports talk (and hopefully on the radio soon) show around, "The Unsportsmanlike Conduct Show" as we are live Wednesday's at 9pm Eastern at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/edthesportsfan! Download our podcasts if you missed the live show as well!