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Let me introduce you to my friend, Karma...

Friends, let me introduce you all to a man you might know very well. His name is Steve Spurrier, aka "The Ol' Ball Coach." During his time in Gainesville, Spurrier was consistently under fire for "running up the score." Spurrier's focus was on two things: one, the backups are just that: backups. Therefore, they rarely play, and when they do play, Spurrier wanted them to run the offense as they normally would. Two, Spurrier could personally give a left nut about running up the score on another team and lived by the philosophy, "if they do not want us to keep scoring then they should stop us from doing so."

Fair enough. There's a fine line between coaching with attitude, playing with sportsmanship, and just being ridiculous. Allowing your backups to run plays is not necessarily running up the score. Going for two when there is no reason to is...throwing 70-yard bombs when you're up 50 points is...and throwing hate on a team who's star player decided not to attend your school is also an infraction definitely is.

So let me introduce you to another friend. Her name is Karma...or by her full name, Karma Kills.

Some of you might ask, why would Karma be female? Because Karma couldn't be a male. Karma is so cold-blooded and deceiving that no man could successfully pull it off. I imagine Karma being a voluptuous stallion of a woman, who wears an inordinate amount of red lipstick. She'd be 70-inches of got-damn wearing a scent that smells like hot grits with sugar and butter. Plus, she'd have a southern accent and always carry around a pitcher of sweet tea with lemons in it just to keep you off-guard. She'd get you real comfortable, massage your shoulders, rub your feet, and make your feel right at home.

Then she'd tie you up, take all your money, burn all your clothes, and leave with the milkman because you lied about that one night in Vegas...

I'm sorry; what was I saying?

The Oregon Ducks, you are going to meet Karma soon enough. You've mesmerized all of us this season with your juggernaut of an offense, the randomness of your uniforms, and the "ah, gee whiz" approach of your head coach, Chip Kelly. You've averaged roughly 3298137 points per game this season and generally your games have been blow outs. Cool; no big deal.

However, why in the hell do you all have this desire to go for two-point conversions all the damn time? By my count, the Ducks have went for two points after scoring a touchdown in every game this season. As someone who has played Madden and NCAA Football since '95, there is nothing more infuriating than having someone continually go for two-point conversions. It's a sincere sign of disrespect, and I've seen folks fight over this in my college days.

But this is real life, and if you like going for two, then that's your thing. However, you know who's not a fan of two-point conversions? Karma. Karma hates that type of thing. Oregon should've lost that game against against Cal, and if the Bears' kicker
didn't get the yips and commit a false start penalty ,then Oregon is not #1. Karma did the unexpected...it gave Oregon another chance. Stop going for two, Chip Kelly, or I guarantee this is not going to end well.

You know someone else who's wrong Karma? Wisconsin. Got damn, Wisconsin; you really just put up 83 points on Indiana? Eighty-three? Okay fine. Maybe if you're running the ball and the other team is literally just not stopping you, then that's cool. I get it. Sucks for Indiana.

Wait a second...you're telling me that Wisconsin's backup quarterback threw a 74-yard bomb in the fourth quarter with eight minutes remaining? Wait...what was the score?


Okay...you just want Karma to come into your house in the middle of the night and torment you to no end, don't you? Why in blue hell would you do that? Are you trying to motivate your basketball team to score more points? (Side note: The last time Wisconsin scored over 80 points in a basketball game? It was against Indiana). I will make a guarantee right now that Wisconsin will not win the Big Ten championship. Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Ohio State are all tied for first place with two games remaining. The Badgers will lose.

Why? Because you don't throw 74-yard bombs on teams in the fourth quarter, when you're up a Lawrence Taylor, a Lamaar Woodley, a Shawne Merriman, a Hardy Nickerson, a Pat Swilling, or an Andre Tippett. You're up 56 points on a team; you don't throw bombs. Karma kills.

However, there are a group of unsavory characters who will feel Karma's wrath like none other. Sometimes, the worst evil is when you have personal vendettas and feel like you personally have been wronged. For the folks of Mississippi State, and potentially Florida, if you have tried to put ill-will on the greatness of Cameron Jerrell Newton, then you need to say your prayers immediately.

Let me go on record and say the following...it would not surprise me in the slightest if Cam Newton and his daddy Cecil Newton accepted monies or any other "benefits" as Cam signed with Auburn over Mississippi State after transferring to Blinn College after leaving Florida.

However...for all of the hearsay that has come out against the young man, can we get some factual evidence please? I mean, just one bit of information that puts the fix on Cam Newton please? You know what...karma is going to hit the media too. Can you all stop "confirming" these news stories? There's no factual evidence whatsoever that has been released, so when you start putting out information that Cam will be suspended, that his eligibility is in question, that he should not win the Heisman, blah blah blah blah blah....you know what? Some of these media outlets are turning into TMZ, Perez Hilton, and Deadspin. Stop it. Karma is going to strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. (Jules)

In the thoughts of the great Steve White, I hope Cam Newton stands tall at the end of the day and looks down on those that have wronged them, hits 'em with the Heisman, hits the Dougie, and chucks the deuces on a phenomenal season.

Karma's a bitch, so my suggestion would be is to just keep her happy.


P.S. As a reminder, checkout the livest sports talk (and hopefully on the radio soon) show around, "The Unsportsmanlike Conduct Show" as we are live Wednesday's at 9pm Eastern at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/edthesportsfan! Download our podcasts if you missed the live show as well!


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