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Today's Obituaries - Gary Neal and The Graham Brothers


Gary Neal (1984-2010)

Gary Neal, 26, passed away on December 16th, 2010. He was born on October 3rd, 1984 in Aberdeen, Maryland. After doing a bid at LaSalle and Towson in the college ranks, Mr. Neal took his talents overseas to develop his game in countries like Turkey, Spain, and Italy. Finally, this summer R.C. Buford and San Antonio Spurs recognized his talents and signed the combo guard to a three-year deal, thus making his basketball dreams an ultimate reality. Sadly, that ultimate reality all came crashing down in one fell swoop when the 26-year old as bamboozled and hoodwinked by a man with a lot of random ink on his body, a horrible haircut on the top of his head, and a vertical of 40-plus inches.

With just five seconds left in the first quarter, and Nuggets leader Carmelo Anthony on the bench, Earl Smith III aka J.R. Smith was instructed by Coach George Karl to lead the offense for a final shot. Now, we've all seen J.R. Smith on many occasions, and on this particular one he did what we all have become accustomed of seeing from Smith...discombobulated and out-of-control. The sad truth is that J.R.'s always had world-class talent, and last night he decided to flash it.

J.R. got a running start up the court and got four dribbles off, then crossed the drawls off of Ime Udoka at the three point line, then took two steps and elevated from the dotted free throw line. Gary Neal saw this play happening in front of him, and as most young players do, he wanted to prove to coach he could play the game. This was not one of the appropriate times to do such a thing...as he tried to take the charge.


Gary Neal officially passed away when J.R. Smith decided to start doing the Hulkamaniac poses and calls to the crowd, and Kevin Harlan screamed to the high heavens "RIDE 'EM COWBOY" as no human spirit would withstand such an embarrassment.

A scholarship foundation has been created in honor of Gary Neal, called the "Don't take dumb charges when danger awaits like Steve Nash did back in '09" foundation to help players not do dumb things like this.

Joey and Stephen Graham (1982-2010)

Joey and Stephen Graham, 28, was put to rest on December 15th, 2010 after a violent incident between Joey Stephen Graham of the Cleveland Cavaliers and Dwyane Tyrone Wade, Jr. of the Miami Heat. Due to the bond that the brothers have had since their birth...okay, let's not bullshit this, because no one in the world can determine the difference between the two, and because both of their games are highly irrelevant...they've officially both been put to rest by D-Wade.

Early in the first half, with the Cavaliers in possession of the ball Stephen Joey Graham decided to take an egregious jump shot in the corner. Just like always, the man hit the rim harder Shep and Nutzo hit the backboard in the classic film "Above the Rim". The ball caromed directly to LeBron Raymone James, who then directly passed the ball up the court to Wade. Joey Stephen Graham saw this locomotion of a play happening before his very eyes, and he made the unwise decision to try and do something about it...


Stephen Joey decides to try and block Dwyane Wade's dunk. Fail number one. Then Joey
Stephen was falling out of bounds and was out of control, so he decided to tackle/hang on for dear life to Wade wile careening to the ground. Fail number two. The two of them land in camera row and Wade bounces up immediately and is inconsolable. Why is he inconsolable? Because he's had to do this before. LeBron tries to celebrate Wade's triumph with him, but Wade hits his Michael Phelps and does the swim move on The King, thus taking Joey's...Stephen's...the Graham Brother's soul in the process.

A foundation has been created in honor of Graham Brothers, in honor of all the twins in sports who are ashamed of the monstrosity that occurred on Wednesday. Please send any donations to the "Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen twins of the NBA" foundation. Thanks.

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

P.S. As a reminder, checkout the livest sports talk (and hopefully on the radio soon) show around, "The Unsportsmanlike Conduct Show" as we are live Wednesday's at 9pm Eastern at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/edthesportsfan! Download our podcasts if you missed the live show as well!

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