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Unsportsmanlike Conduct - The US women's soccer team loves the pressure

Unsportsmanlike Conduct is an ongoing series in which Ed brings you the 12 important events, happenings, individuals, and shenanigans over the past weekend, so that you can be thoroughly entertained...kind of like when you heard that Dancing with the Stars legend Hines Ward got arrested for a DUI and Adam "Pacman" Jones was arrested for the 234,897th time for scrapping in the club, then you immediately asked yourself if Ray Lewis was right about "the crime rate going up"...yep.

12 points to discuss. You ready? Lets go.

1) Derek Jeter is the coolest athlete of our generation

On Saturday afternoon Derek Jeter officially became the coolest athlete I've ever witnessed in my entire life. The man has won five championship rings, eleven-time all-star, dated eight women in the Maxim 100 in 2010, and now is the only Yankee to ever to amass 3,000 hits. Oh yeah, that 3,000th hit? Yep, it was a home run. Hell, New Era's already got a hat to commemorate...I heard they were even doing a mini-documentary detailing Jeter's quest for three stacks. I can't remember a time ever where we viewed anything Jeter did with a negative lens, and he's played his cards so perfectly outside of Yankee Stadium that I feel like we should be taking notes. All hail the homie Derek Jeter. I still hate the Yankess though.

2) Question: Would you have given Jeter the 3,000th hit ball? Christian Lopez did.

"Mr. Jeter deserved it," Lopez said afterward. "I'm not going to take it away from him. Money's cool and all, but I'm 23 years old, I've got a lot of time to make that."

I got student loans to pay, and a car note that could use paying off...but I'd like to think my sports fan belief system would allow me to do what Lopez did. Yeah.

Reading Material: Returning the Ball, And the Humility via WSJ Sports

3) Prince Fielder vs. David Ortiz, who you got in the 2011 HR Derby?
Its Fielder (Brewers), Matt Holliday (Cardinals), Ryan Howard (Phillies), and Rickie Weeks (Brewers) versus Ortiz (Red Sox), Adrian Gonzalez (Red Sox), Robinson Cano (Yankees), and Jose Bautista (Blue Jays) in what will hopefully provide some drama and fireworks on an otherwise lifeless Monday on our sports schedule. I'm taking the American League, for no other reason than I need to see Jose Bautista hit with my own eyes and see if he's for real.

4) Nike + High School Football + 7-on-7 + ESPN = The Opening

Nike and ESPN teamed up this weekend to put on for the top prep skill players across the country and hosted the 2011 Nike 7ON tournament at Nike HQ in Beaverton, Oregon. Nike put the players through their extensive SPARQ training system. After that, they paired the players up with football legends like Jerry Rice and current stars like Dwyane Bowe to learn from past experiences.

Dope Vid: Nike 7ON: The Opening – Day 1 via 6 Magazine

5) NCAA Football '12 drops Tuesday, get me a copy.
Find me on the Playstation Network. Gamertag is "Coolbreeze5," and I'm playing with Oklahoma. Prepare for the Boomer Sooner beatdown.

Reading Material: NCAA Football 12 Impressions via Pasta Padre

6) Hey Paul Williams...you might want to hang it up, buddy.

On the #TwitterSports network this past Saturday, Paul Williams took his talents to Atlantic City to fight a Cuban man named Erislandy Lara on HBO. Who he fought is unimportant, what is important is that said Cuban man beat the brakes off of the former welterweight champion for 12 rounds (the same Paul Williams who Sergio Martinez almost sent to heaven about eight months ago.) At one point, the great Roy Jones (who has seen his fair share of getting knocked the hell out late in his career) lost it, saying that, "This fight could affect Williams after he retires." All of my followers immediately chided Roy for three minutes for that ironic statement.

Yet when it was all said and done, Paul Williams won a majority decision, which left us all baffled, stunned, beleaguered, despondent, and filled with laughter. "I think you've seen the best of Paul Williams," Jones said, unless he gets another trainer. If Martinez was Lara, Jones said, Williams would be in the hospital. Even the level-headed Max Kellerman wrapped it up by saying "This decision was indescribably bad and incompetent." Williams' future, is in serious jeopardy, as is boxing's if they keep giving us this foolishness. They should be ashamed of themselves.

7) So Magic Johnson is bacon and John Stockton is grits?

Magic Johnson/Bacon: "Magic was efficient at so many different things. You could add him to any team and he was going to make it better. He wasn’t the best player, but his flashy game was one of the main attractions . You can eat bacon by itself, crumble it in some grits, or put it in a biscuit and dog that shit. Bacon is delectable. So is Magic’s game." - @NicholsAccomp

Reading Material: Breakfast has the Deepest Roster in Basketball History via Absolut-ism

8) If they're good enough for C-Webb and Reggie, they're good enough for me.

I can vividly remember rocking these when I was 12 years old, why? Because my mama wasn't going to by them for me when I was 11. So I had to wait six months before they hit the sales rack. God bless you mama, and if you love me, then you'll put a pair under the tree for me during Christmas when Nike brings them back in November. Size 13, please.

Source: Nike Air Max Uptempo 2 via The Smoking Section

9) So what if Kobe, LeBron, and D-Rose created their own basketball league?

I wonder if Kobe would make a rule that he'd get the ball every other play? Okay just joking (kinda) but if this happened, then this could be the dopest thing ever. Shoutout to Tillery for the wise words.

Reading Material: Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Derrick Rose Create the NPA via The Starting Five

10) Question....where can we buy a Deron Williams Besitkas jersey at? Eastbay?

If the players don't create their own league, then the word on the street is that some NBA players will be headed across the pond to hoop it up. My brain tells me that this is all a play-in positioning between the players and owners, but any player that doesn't at least research the opportunity would be quite foolish. If this happens though, then we might be watching basketball games at 3 am. Yikes.

Reading Material: Deron Williams Says NBAers Could Stay Overseas Long-Term via SLAM Online

11) All hail the great Yao Ming aka 姚明
Look, we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way. Easy way? Okay, he is the best Asian basketball player ever, yet his injuries derailed a career that had higher expectations. Cool. The hard way? Hmmmm.....

Yao Ming was one of the first people I can remember that was totally unafraid of the big homie, Shaquille O'Neal. Yao Ming made us get excited about Stevie Franchise again. Over time, Yao Ming grew into being one of the more witty, sharp, and just plain funny players in the NBA.

Moreover, we began to see his overall talents expressed on the court. The man could shoot the three, the man was a phenomenal passer, and good luck trying to score down low on the 7'5" phenom. Nike probably owes Yao a billion dollars as well. You're gone too soon, big man, but we'll always remember #11 in the red and white. Enjoy retirement, Yao.

12) Get your goosebumps ready, courtesy of the US women's soccer team...again.
Back in 1999, I was entering my junior year in high school. I was impressionable, I was struggling talking to women, and my mama would still help me pick my clothes out from time to time.

(awkward silence)

Anyway, what I can vividly remember is the 1999 Women's World Cup enter my life. I remember my mother falling asleep on the couch while I sat in the living room being captivated by these athletes get it going on the pitch. So when Brandi Chastain slotted that ball in the corner, ripped off that jersey, and that team celebrated like it was 1999...yep...I yelled in jubilation and started running around the house, and I made so much commotion that my mama briefly cussed me out and told me to get her cigarettes. God, I love that woman.

However, what I thought might become a fly-by-night sensation, a one-hit wonder if you will with women's soccer...truly evolved into something else Sunday afternoon. You see, we now know that the US women's squad is damned good. We genuinely care about the World Cups in general much more than we used to, and we know that certain institutions are just respected. Brazil, as a soccer institution, is to be respected. So when Sunday morning at 11:00 am hit the dial, I poured me a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and began watching something that was truly awesome.

You know what happened by now. Own goal. Red Card. PK by Marta. Marta again. Dear Abby with the header. Hope Solo with the save. We win in the PKs. What you might not know is how Twitter Sports (the phenomenon that is watching sports live while being on Twitter) was on fire for three hours. What you might not know is how much my phone began lighting up with calls and messages with other geeked sports fans.

What you might not know is that we the people were appreciating sports at its finest. It didn't matter that the announcer was Irish, or that they were in Germany, or that they were playing REAL football instead of our American remix. All that mattered is that there were 22 athletes on that pitch doing work and the home team brought home the victory.

Goosebumps were had. Yelling and screaming occurred. I hit the Alpha train in my apartment. Kenny called me and used every bit of Dallas slang I'd ever heard in roughly 22 seconds. Its why we love sports, and because of it...God bless the USA.



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