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Today's Obituaries - Victor Ortiz (1987-2011) and Larry Merchant (1931-2011)


Victor Ortiz, 24, passed away late last night after being battered with a two-piece from Floyd Joy Mayweather, Jr. Victor was born in Garden City, Kansas on January 31st, 1987. Ortiz was previously the WBC Welterweight Champion of the world, and with a crowd-pleasing, aggressive style, two-fisted power and boyish charm, was thought of being the future of boxing. Ortiz also held the extraordinary distinction of having knocked down every opponent he has faced...until he fought Floyd Joy Mayweather Jr. last night.

Although things ultimately came to an end as of the September 17th bout in Las Vegas for the WBC Welterweight Championship, Victor Ortiz's demise really came four months ago when he stated that he aspired to be like a soft-spoken and feathery rapper that we all know...Drake.

"I know that boxing will always come first in my life, but writing music has helped me relax. It's like my therapy," Ortiz said. "I'd like to be the Mexican-American version of Drake. I see myself telling stories with my songs."

Floyd Mayweather had it out to make sure he'd help Victor Ortiz relax, give him therapy, and sing all the songs that would help put him right to sleep. That was the gameplan at least, a gameplan that Floyd was executing in a fashion he'd done 41 times prior. Lead rights, counter lefts, evading and parrying punches for four rounds as Ortiz began traveling down the same path as everyone who stood before Floyd previously.

When all else fails, people eventually will turn desperate. Ortiz began to scuffle and skirmish with Mayweather, pushing Floyd into the corner and threw a flurry of punches that did little to no damage. Then, in an instant, Victor decided to headbutt Floyd, splitting his lip and chin. Referee Joe "I'm fair but I'm firm" Cortez immediately sprung into action and deducted a point from Ortiz. While Victor LITERALLY tried to kiss and make up, hug it out, and apologize for his transgressions...Floyd was about to let him know that he was "the best he ever had" that he would be "successful" for a 42nd time.

While Cortez tried to get his ring in order, Floyd gathered himself and prepared to get it going again. As Ortiz touched gloves with Floyd, he inexplicably tried to hug Floyd again. Floyd snapped and was still waiting for Cortez to pay attention to what was going on Floyd snapped a left hook on Victor's chin while his gloves were down. Instead of putting his hands up to defend himself, Victor decides to look at Joe Cortez for help. So Floyd snapped another lead right square on the chin, thus causing Victor Ortiz's soul to leave his body.

You see, stupidity cannot be tolerated. Sometimes, life lessons need to be learned the hard way. You can't be out here trying to be a hardened, grizzled boxer and comparing yourself to frail, frothy, feathery, and flimsy rapper like Drake. It's just not possible. Floyd had to put the young man down.

But Floyd wasn't done quite yet.

***

Larry Merchant, 80, passed away early this morning. No, not a natural, old man death like most 80-year-olds succumb to. Nope, Larry Merchant died from an apparent heart attack. Larry Merchant was a legendary former sportswriter, a longtime commentator for HBO Boxing, and is considered by some as "the greatest television boxing analyst of all time". One person who didn't think that Merchant was a great analyst was one...Floyd Joy Mayweather, Jr.


After successfully disposing of Victor Ortiz just minutes prior, Floyd Mayweather went to go to his usual Q&A session with Larry Merchant. What seemed to have good intentions initially, quickly spiraled down the toilet as Money May went on a tirade and made Merchant's blood boil.

Larry Merchant: You were in charge of this fight. You were aggressive in trying to take advantage...

Floyd Mayweather: You know what I'm gonna do cause you never give me a fair shake, you know that? So I'm gonna let you talk to Victor Ortiz. I'm through. Put someone else here to give me an interview. Talk to Victor Ortiz!

Larry Merchant: What are you talking about?

Floyd Mayweather: You never give me a fair shake. HBO needs to fire you. You don't know shit about boxing! You ain't shit! You're not shit!

Larry Merchant: I wish I was 50 years younger and I'd kick your ass.

Floyd Mayweather: You won't do shit!

(fast forward the video to the :40 mark)



Witnesses say that they saw Larry Merchant leave the MGM Grand and go home to his suburban flat like he does every night after a big fight. One of his neighbors stated that he saw Merchant pull out an old heavy bag, put on some gloves, and began punching with that "old man strength" that only...old men have. The neighbor also stated that Larry's wife told him to "bring his ass in the house" and Larry just kept chanting "50 years ago, I'd kick your ass...50 years ago, I'd kick your ass..."

"He was a man possessed," said the neighbor.

Merchant was found in the backyard laying in his hammock with the gloves still on and Frank Sinatra's "I Did It My Way" playing on repeat on a stereo. Although he was clearly gone, he laid there with a smile, almost like he had envisioned going 12 rounds with Floyd in his dreams.

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

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